I'VE BEEN HERE FORRRRRR EEVVVVV ERRRRRR

I find it really annoying when the taxistas (the men who drive the... ding ding ding!: TAXIS!), or really anyone, like your host mom's friends... ask you how long you've been here. And you say, "4 months." They inevitably always reply, "¡muy poquito tiempo!" and you inevitably reply to that, "¡¡¡¡NI ES POQUITO!!!! Es una eterniDAD" Four months in another country with a culture soo different from your own is far from a small amount of time. The amount of effort it takes to process what is going on, that is not a small amount of effort. 4 months can suck the life out of you.

It’s a funny thing, going abroad. I think the funniest thing is how much it requires going inside your self. I know when I saw on LaurieBeth’s Facebook profile, that infamous quote “To know another culture is fundamentally a journey inside yourself,” ("Conocer otra cultura es fundamentalmente un viaje interior.") I thought I bet it’s true… But I didn’t understand how. I couldn’t understand how until I had gone through the experience, obviously.
I have learned that I am so imperfect. That I am an amazing candidate for Grace. I am in desperate need of Grace.
I am often:
impatient
blunt
loud
hypocritical
selfish
lazy
impulsive
self-absorbed
monomaniacal
argumentative
head strong
stubborn
gluttonous (surprising but true)
first (Kanakukers get that)

I have never noticed these qualities as much as I have here in the Tina.
I mean, I think I have some good qualities too.
I am also:
resourceful
creative
energetic
enthusiastic
nurturing
a linguist
willing
a dreamer
mothering (this can be a negative sometimes when it turns into smothering. whoops.)
funny (depends on the day – but sometimes I am really funny.)
smart (I am. I don’t think I’m stupid. However, I have realized how much I DON’T know while I’ve been down here.)

It turns out I am not a natural Rider. That was a disappointment maybe. Or maybe it’s because the teachers here like to get the horse riled up and then send you off sprinting on him right after he throws his head back so that the spit coming out of his mouth flies onto your face right before he takes off running and you grab onto his mane so you don’t fall into the dirt that makes your allergies flare up every time after class because you’ve been breathing it in the whole time. That was an overwhelming sentence. It was supposed to be. Equitación is overwhelming. I hated trotting for a long time. Having to post was definitely something new compared to the Western riding I’ve done. Turns out they’re quite different, Western and English. But the other day I realized that all of a sudden, when they ask me to trot, it doesn’t take as much work. Do you know that I’ve trotted on a horse with no feet in the stirrups? It’s true. I would have NEVER thought that I could do that. So I guess equi really has stretched me. I’ve been asked to do a lot of things that I have not been comfortable with initially, but I think that was definitely a good thing. (I still would like a teacher who explained what was going to happen before it happened and also didn’t make everyone come over and look at the girl who just fell down on the ground off of her horse and say what she did wrong. She probably needs a little time to recover.)

I also got a tattoo while I was down here. (Surprise, Dad!) I have felt the need to stop being afraid of living, of taking chances. I have always been the kid who only rollerbladed on surfaces with a good amount of friction; while Frances and Jack squealed over a neighbor’s new smooth concrete driveway, I watched from the friction-filled grass, afraid to bust my butt. So I decided to dive in and get a tattoo. I think it was part of a desire to feel like I was embracing my chance to be 20 years old and do things I could possibly regret in the future. The good kind of regret. The “oh well, guess I can’t do anything about it now” regret. Not like screw up my future kind of regret. So I’m glad I did that.

I learned that it is possible for me to be friends with a group of girls. I know, I know, I’m in a sorority, but there aren’t 5 of us stuck together all the time. It has been rough. Roughest for me, because I’m not used to doing it. Lately, I hadn’t spent as much time with the 4, but the past couple of days we’ve hung out, and it has been so refreshing. I am not really good at it. All my friends have always been spread around, not in a group setting. So I have had to take a deep breath and step back a few times, but I think I have grown a lot in that area. So thank you so much, Alex, Abby, Caro, and Chris. I know I’ve been the stubborn one that’s retreated to Billy a lot, but I wouldn’t trade the experience that I’ve had with you girls for the world. I am sorry I didn’t make it to Iguazu, I know it was amazing, but ya’ll have done so much for me that you don’t even know! Haha ya’ll sure have got a good dose of my stubbornness and argumentativeness…

I have learned also, that I love America. I used to defend the argument that “America” is not a country, but a region. But you know, it’s also a country. If you can have a city and a state named the same thing, then you can have a country and a hemisphere named the same thing. No one here calls their self “American” so they can get over the fact that it’s what we call ourselves. It’s in songs, it’s in our NAME. So we can be Americans. I love the fact that I can breath clean air when I walk down the road and not have to cover my mouth constantly so I can breath. I love that there are so many things that happen here that could NEVER happen in America, because of the stability of our government. We have so much stability that we don’t realize it. I know our economy may be playing “recession” right now, but we’ve got it so good. There aren’t road blocks all the time in protest, no one is in threat of not having food because the farmers won’t let the food get to the cities. We’re safe of that threat. I mean we’re not perfect. I know we’re not. We’ve got problems. Everyone has problems. A lot of people don’t like our country these days. That’s okay. Because I’ve never loved America more. I never really was very patriotic – I’ve always been convinced that we’ve been so self-absorbed and selfish and set on our own materialistic agenda that we had it all wrong… But the thing is, every country is prideful. There are issues in every country that the people choose to ignore because of their pride. There are so many people here who think that what they do is the best in the world, and a lot of times I want to giggle because we do it in America too… Like criollos. They’re like biscuits, but harder. I swear if these people could taste a hot Southern biscuit they’d change their minds. I was introduced to a criollo with the idea that what I was about to eat was unavailable in any other part of the world… ha! So it’s interesting, you see? The Argentines are proud of things in their world just like we’re proud of things in our world. Sometimes we just only see through the eyes of our own world. I’m sure we could improve our PR in the States, but I am convinced right now that we’ve got a lot of things right. Like Domino’s pizza. And chicken wings. And police that actually care to give you a ticket for doing something illegal. That’s a nice thing to have.

I think this trip has been invaluable, really. I am sure that when I get back to the States I will realize all of the things that I really did enjoy about Argentina, but at the moment I’ve got my one track mind working… the “get me back to the US” track… It’s been a long, exhausting road. There has been a lot of drama, a lot of frustration, a lot of annoyance with the fact that there is a total lack of organization (hmph), and a lot of time on our hands that we haven’t known what to do with. But I’m glad I came. I’m glad I didn’t go to Europe to tour around and be immersed in typical Western society. This really is a society of its own. Heck, their grammar is different in Argentina than other places in Spain and even other Latin American countries! But I’m glad that I was forced to look at myself and my country the way I have. I hope every time I eat Dominos or chicken wings I remember what it was like to be in Argentina and have the same pasta sauce 5 times a week.