Walking to school this morning, sucking in a lungful of car exhaust, I was wondering why I’m here. I started comparing and contrasting my trip to Nicaragua (which was life changing in a matter of 10 days) and my time here so far (two weeks). When we left Nicaragua, I was distraught. I felt like I was leaving my heart in Managua, which is by no means any cleaner than Córdoba. In fact, Managua has a much higher level of crime, there are problems with gangs (someone had died and been tossed in a river a week or two before we arrived in Managua in 2005), we had to eat gallo pinto (aka rice and beans) with no seasoning for 60% of our meals there. We weren’t aware that we could only wear pants (out of respect for the culture) so we had only brought one or two pairs of pants to Nicaragua, which we had to wear for something like a week straight. We had to be careful about what water we drank, because we couldn’t drink the tap water like the Nicas could. It was definitely not a time without challenges (wearing pants in the 90 degree weather was crazy).
But really, I forgot that I was wearing the same dirty pants. I didn’t notice how hot I was. And after 10 days, I was ready to move there. I wanted to go to Nicaragua and have a banana plantation. I seriously considered this. And now here I am in Argentina, in a country with a much stronger economy, with safer streets (although to us they drive crazy and no one wears a seat belt, and child seats are nonexistent), but after two weeks I feel nowhere near the pull I felt with Nicaragua. So what was it about that country, something like the second poorest country in the western hemisphere, that drew me in more than Argentina, considered the most European country of Latin America?
I thought at first that maybe it’s because Nicaragua was more like vacation than my time in Argentina has been. After a week and a half of classes, I have a test that counts for 30% of my grade tomorrow. But as far as challenges go, there have been far fewer that I have experienced in Argentina than Nicaragua. So Argentina is easier, and cleaner, but I’m here dreaming of Nicaragua.
And then while I’m walking I realize the major difference. Here, I’ve been staying with a middle-upper class family, going out in the city, and hanging out with my friends from the US (haha and 1 from Canada). I haven’t had to invest with my heart and soul like I did in the dirt streets of Managua. I haven’t been able to chase wild horses or eat indigenous fruit with the orphans of Ometepe. What was so fulfilling about those ten challenging days in Nicaragua was actually the pouring out. So if I really want to dig deep into Argentina, I’m going to have to stop simply taking, and start giving away. If I want the joy and love here that I had while with the Nicas, I’m going to have to start finding some people who themselves need joy and love. So that’s the new mission (although today I learned that we may not be able to get more information about volunteering until mid-March).

“Den, y se les dará, se les echará en el regazo una medida llena, apretada, sacudida y desbordante. Porque con la medida que midan a otros, se les medirá a ustedes.” Lucas 6:38

“Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” Luke 6:38